


Stay With You

by ArcticLucie



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: AU-modern setting/hospital setting/all human, Confusion, Doctor!Kaidan, First Kiss, Fluff, Head Injury, Injury Recovery, Light Angst, Love at First Sight, M/M, Patient!Shepard, Temporary Amnesia, Unconsciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-06 00:32:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4201059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcticLucie/pseuds/ArcticLucie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Kaidan Alenko becomes attached to the very first patient he treats on the day he starts his internship at Citadel Memorial Hospital, a comatose 'John Doe' he can't help but be drawn to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay With You

**Author's Note:**

> This idea wouldn't leave me alone till I got it out of my head. I blame [this](http://bioticjelly.tumblr.com/post/115923530352) and some prompt I saw somewhere. I don't know how it got so long, but hopefully that's just more for you to enjoy!
> 
> Not edited too carefully.

**Day 1**

It was Kaidan's very first day as an intern at Citadel Memorial Hospital in the small town of Normandy Springs. He had been pretty excited to start but knew it was going to be a grueling experience. Medical school had been tough, but he was now officially Dr. Kaidan James Alenko and was ready to move on to treating actual patients. 

After putting on his white lab coat over his dark blue scrubs, he set out to join the other interns. His shiny new stethoscope was fitted around his neck, his comfortable shoes had already been broken in, and there was a datapad in one hand and a travel mug full of coffee in the other as he walked out of the locker room. 

He had met a few of his fellow interns before at orientation. There was Ashley Williams whom he hit it off with right away. She was friendly with high energy, and he knew she'd do well in the program. There was also Richard Jenkins on whom people were already taking bets to see how long it'd take for him to wash out. Lastly was Edi Moreau whom he suspected to be part robot due to the fact that she had an eidetic memory and knew everything about everything.

They exchanged pleasantries while they waited to begin their first day. Kaidan was always a little on the quiet side, so he mostly just listened to the two women talk about how excited they were to get started, a sentiment he shared wholeheartedly. They weren't left waiting long.

"Good morning," said Dr. Chakwas as she approaching them by the nurse's station. They all mirrored her greeting before she continued on. "I see you've all brought your coffee," smiled the white haired woman. She had the hint of a British accent that was soothing, and Kaidan just knew he was going to learn how to be a great doctor from her.

"Let's get start, shall we?" Chakwas said more than asked as she led them down the hall. They moved into the first room to go over the history and diagnosis of their first patient. "We'll go alphabetically today. Alenko, you're up first. Tell us about your very first patient," she instructed.

"Uh, yes, ma'am," he replied. Dr. Chakwas had sent out the medical charts of the patients they would be assigned to earlier that morning with instructions to look over them before hand. He pulled up the patient's chart and gave it a quick glance before he began. 

"This is, uh, 'John Doe.' He was rushed in last night after his motorcycle collided with a car. He has a hairline fracture of the skull and acute swelling of the brain which may be responsible for his current comatose state.

"Other than that, his injuries are mostly superficial: a few major lacerations needed suturing but the rest were minor. He also suffered multiple contusions included bruised ribs. There is a small bleed on his liver, but the latest scans indicated that surgery isn't needed at this time. His vitals have been strong since arrival and his blood chemistry is within acceptable ranges. No signs of drugs or alcohol were found in his system.

"His head injury is the most significant problem. His scans show high levels of brain activity but he has only responded to pain stimuli and hasn't been conscious since they brought him in. Other than that, he appears to be in good health and is listed as serious...Oh, and the police are working on identifying him."

"Very good. Why don't you go ahead and give him a quick work up," Chakwas said.

"Yes, ma'am," he nodded. 

He put on his stethoscope and went to listen to the patient's heart and lungs but Chakwas quickly interrupted, "For all our patients, especially our coma victims, we tell them what we are going to do before we do it. With his level of brain activity, it is possible that he is somewhat aware of our presence. Just something to keep in mind. Please continue."

"Yes, ma'am," he repeated. "Hi, ahem, hello, 'John', I'm Dr. Alenko and I'm just going to take a listen to your heart and lungs." He looked to Chakwas who nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. 

"Breath sounds are good," he said when he was finished, draping the stethoscope back around his neck. He pulled out his penlight and flicked it on. "I'm going to check your pupils now." He gently raised an eyelid and shined his light into John's eye before doing the same to the other. "Both are equal and reactive."

"What would you say his prognosis is?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"I'd say excellent. It's highly possible that he'll make a full recovery, but we won't know for sure what kind of damage his brain has suffered until he wakes up," he replied.

"Let's hope that's soon," Chakwas said. She led them out of the room, and they moved on to the rest of their patients.

The rest of his shift was not nearly as exciting as he expected it to be. They had spent most of the day observing the residents and getting a feel for interacting with patients. Before leaving the hospital, he was compelled to check in on 'John Doe,' but there had been no change in his condition and no news from the police as to his identity. 

"I'm sure you'll wake up when the swelling goes down. Maybe that'll be tonight and you'll be wide awake for rounds tomorrow," Kaidan said. He turned to leave but not before shooting back a "See you then," over his shoulder, brown eyes lingering on the man's profile as he exited the room.

 

**Day 2**

"Williams, why don't we go backwards today? Give us the update on our John Doe," Dr. Chakwas said.

Kaidan knew John wasn't his patient exclusively, but for some reason he felt a little jealous that Ash got to be the one to go over his chart that morning. He'd spent most of the previous night wondering if and when John would wake up. Edi's husband, Joker the hospital's care flight pilot, had already started a pool. Kaidan didn't participate.

"Yes, ma'am. No change in John Doe's condition from yesterday. The bleed on his liver has stopped completely but he still remains comatose," Ashley explained.

"What treatment would you suggest?" Chakwas asked.

"There isn't much we can do but keep him alive and hope that he'll wake up when the swelling has subsided. If there is no change in his condition in the next week, he should be transferred to our long term care unit considering his high level of brain function and stable condition."

"Very good, Williams."

"Thank you, ma'am," she nodded excitedly. "I'm good, Alenko! Try to keep up," she whispered to him as they followed Dr. Chakwas out the door. Kaidan was the last one out, tossing one last look at John over his shoulder.

 

**Day 8**

Kaidan was starting his second week as an intern and was already dog tired. The police hadn't made any progress on identifying their John Doe which saddened a little. He knew he wasn't supposed to get too attached to his patients, but he couldn't help but wonder about the man.

Maybe it was because John was and would always be his first patient that had Kaidan so curious about him. Or maybe it was because he was a complete mystery. Regardless, he felt sorry that the man had no one sitting by his bedside unlike all the other patients he attended to. For some reason, it bugged him that John spent most of his day alone.

 

**Day 10**

Kaidan had arrived a little early to John's room that morning. The interns were scheduled to transport their patient to another wing in the hospital that day and he wanted a few minutes alone with him to say "goodbye" as weird as that may've sounded. He didn't know why, but he felt drawn to the him. 

Slowly, he approached the bed and took a moment to study him up close. There hadn't really been time to do that during rounds without everyone getting the wrong impression...or maybe the right one.

Most of the bruising had started to fade and the swelling in his face had finally gone down. Kaidan knew he would be even more handsome under his injuries, but he didn't know just how beautiful he was until he got a chance to take him in properly. He'd have a scar intersecting his hairline from his head wound, but it somehow managed to enhance his features. 

Kaidan knew from checking the reaction of his pupils that John had eyes the color of oceans he'd only seen in the movies, crystalline and clear. He wondered what they'd look like when they were bright with life and not dulled by unconsciousness. The thought of one day finding out sent a thrill creeping up his spine as it used his vertebrae like rungs on a ladder.

John had dark hair which had been shaved in anticipation of possible brain surgery and also to suture his head wound. His cheekbones were razor sharp as was his jawline, and Kaidan knew he had the kind of lips that would be perfect for kissing if it wasn't for the whole unconscious patient/doctor ethical conundrum. 

His body looked so small tucked under the blankets, but his shoulders were broad and it looked like he kept himself quite fit. Kaidan wondered what he did for a living, whether he had family or coworkers out looking for him, or if he even had any friends, a girlfriend perhaps, that were worried sick.

Just as Kaidan opened his mouth to say something, he heard Ash and Edi's voices filtering in from the hall. "Hey Alenko," they greeted in unison.

"Trying to make us look bad?" Ash teased.

"That's really hard to do to you lovely ladies," he replied. "Jenkins isn't with you?"

"I'm afraid, Dr. Jenkins wasn't cut out for emergency medicine," Dr. Chakwas said as she entered the room. "This is Dr. Liara T'Soni. She'll be taking his place."

"Looks like you're out numbered three to one, Alenko," Ashley smirked.

"It's nice to meet you, Dr. T'Soni," Kaidan greeted, pointedly ignoring Ashley's jab. They shook hands as Liara returned the greeting with a timid smile. 

"Shall we beginning prepping our patient for his trip?" Chakwas asked. They all nodded and got to work unplugging what needed to be unplugged and repositioning the tubes and wires connected to John around his hospital bed.

When everything had been put in its place, they unlocked the wheels and began to roll his bed out the door to the elevator. A short ride later, they wheeled him into the long-term care unit and into his new room: north wing, room 007.

The girls started calling him 'Doe, John Doe' after that, but he preferred to think of John's room number as N7, short and to the point. Something told him John would approve.

They got him plugged back up to the proper machines and everything else back into their proper place before telling him a quick "goodbye" as they hurried back for rounds. John's care was officially transferred to Dr. Michel after that, which meant Kaidan's first patient was no longer _his_ patient. 

He probably shouldn't have felt as sad as he did about that.

 

**Day 16**

It had been over a week since John was transferred. Kaidan was sure he should've forgotten about him by then, but he just couldn't. He wondered if he'd woken up yet. Dr. Chakwas said she hadn't heard anything when he asked about him, but he wasn't surprised by that.

He decided that he'd go check on him himself after his shift was over.

Before he even changed out of his scrubs he found himself tiptoeing into N7. His shoulders slumped when he saw the man's still body laying exactly as he had left him the week before. His hair had grown in a little, but that was the only change in his condition.

He let out a sigh as he walked over to the bed, "Hey, John...it's me, Dr. Alenko, but you can call me Kaidan since I'm not your doctor anymore. I hope you haven't missed me too much," he said low, taking in the still man's form. 

"I'm not sure how aware you are, but I did a little research on coma victims and everything I read said it was good stimuli for patients to be talked to. I just thought maybe I'd come by and say 'hi'. I kind of wished you'd be awake to say it back.

"That's, uh, that's okay, though. You probably just need more rest. I'm going to see if I can find Dr. Michel for an update...but I'll come back by when I'm done," he said. "Don't go anywhere," he laughed. "Sorry, I, uh, I'm a dork."

He unsuccessfully walked the halls for a few minutes before he checked the doctor's lounge for Dr. Michel. The French-Canadian doctor was going over charts at the table when he walked in. "Dr. Alenko, was it?" she asked, looking up from her datapad.

"Yes, ma'am. I...just came to check on the status of the patient we transferred here last week. The John Doe," he replied.

She let out an understanding sigh, "I'm afraid there has been no change. The swelling in his brain has gone down. I had hoped he'd wake up after that, but he must be a stubborn one," she sighed again. 

"Did the police find out who he was?"

"I'm afraid not," she said shaking her head. "If he has loved ones out there, I do not envy their pain at not knowing where he is or what happened to him."

He nodded solemnly, "I'm sure they miss him."

"Feel free to come and sit with him anytime. It'll be good for him to hear a familiar voice every now and then," Dr. Michel smiled kindly at him.

"I might just do that."

"You never forget your first patient, Dr. Alenko."

"Please, call me Kaidan."

"Chloe," she smiled. 

"I need to get going, but I'll probably see you around then," he said.

"I look forward to it."

 

**Day 17**

The next day, Kaidan told the ladies he had an errand to run at lunch. Instead of meeting them in the cafeteria, he brought a sandwich and sat with John while he ate. He wasn't sure what you were supposed to say to coma patients, so he just talked about the weather and what he'd packed in his bag for lunch. 

 

**Day 42**

The next month had run Kaidan ragged. As he got more comfortable with medical procedures, he'd had a lot more opportunities to perform them. He'd spent a few lunches a week sitting with John, but the days had steadily increased until it was almost an everyday occurrence. 

He'd gotten to know some of John's caretaker's pretty well in that time. Him and nurse Tali had bonded over their love of medical technology, Jimmy Vega was the nurse they called when someone needed to be lifted or turned so they wouldn't get bed sores, and Steve Cortez was an orderly who transported patients to different places in the hospital when they needed medical tests performed.

All of them knew Kaidan on a first name basis. When he first met Steve, the man assumed Kaidan was a friend of John's since he was sitting next to his bed joking about him missing the meteor shower the previous night. Every so often James would come in on his break and make them play a hand of poker, but somehow John always won. Kaidan figured he was lucky that way.

Kaidan's favorite time of day quickly became his peaceful lunches with John, just the steady beat of a heart monitor in the background as Kaidan talked about everything and nothing. It was quite tranquil, and he needed that with the hectic schedule that he worked. 

It helped that John just happened to be an excellent listener because some times Kaidan just needed a sanity check.

Unfortunately, the girls had to go and ruin it for him. They meant well and had all become his good friends in the time since they started working together, but sometimes their curiosity got the better of them. And usually, the better of him.

"Oh my gods, Kaidan!" Ashley squealed as the girls entered the room. "This is were you sneak off to every other day?"

He felt an embarrassing blush start to paint his cheeks at being discovered. "Did you follow me?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Dr. Michel suggested that a familiar voice would be beneficial to his progress," Kaidan tried to explain. 

"Well, why didn't you tell us? We would've been happy to join you in here," Liara said.

"I wasn't sure if you would be up for it, and I didn't know if too much stimuli would be good or not," he shrugged. In all honestly, he had grown to enjoy the quiet time he'd spend in John's room at lunch. "But feel free to join me," he reluctantly said.

After that, it was the 'four musketeers' and John everyday.

 

**Day 59**

Since their lunches had been hijack, Kaidan had started dropping by John's room before he left after his shift everyday. He was usually dog tired, but speaking to John had fast become a good way to unload all his frustrations from worked.

Their one-sided conversations had evolved over time. In the beginning Kaidan talked about small things, things like what his favorite foods were, things he liked, his hobby of building model ships. That quickly turned into him opening up about his experiences in med school. And that unwittingly turned into him pouring his soul out to the man.

He told him about the special school his parents had spent their lifesavings sending him to after he was identified as 'gifted'. One of the teachers had it out for him and his first love, Rahna, so much so that he'd witnessed the man assaulting her one night just outside the dorms. Kaidan had inadvertently pushed him down a small flight of stairs when he came to her rescue which led to the man's death.

That experience had hit him pretty hard. Rahna and the other students became wary of him, and his guilt over taking a life was almost unbearable most days. He became the outcast of the whole school and spent his last semester in a deep depression.

He put off going to college for a few years after that, which was why he was a little bit older than the other interns. He'd even gotten into drugs for awhile. The only person he'd ever admitted that to was John. He eventually pulled himself back together and wanted to dedicate himself to saving lives after having taken one.

He would joke that if John charged him by the hour to listen to his problems he would be able to pay off his hospital bills in no time. "You're such a good listener, John," he'd tease. "One day, I hope to return the favor."

 

**Day 70**

"I have that date with the doctor from oncology tonight," Kaidan said. "I think she's been after me since day one," he chuckled, "Well, that's what Edi said, but apparently, I'm dense. I'll probably tell you all about it tomorrow. She's uh, she's not really my type, a little too perky than I usually go for, but she's nice."

 

**Day 71**

"So...the date was pretty much a disaster from the beginning. I took her to this new restaurant that opened in Virmire. She liked the food, but it was...well, I would've preferred a burger and fries to be honest.

"It was awkward, too. We didn't really know what to talk about other than medical jargon. We tried to save it with the goodnight kiss, but it was kind of like kissing my sister as opposed to fireworks and explosions," Kaidan relayed. "Needless to say, we decided to just stay friends.

"Do you know if Vega is single? Maybe I'll set them up. Then again, I think I saw Cortez eyeing him the last time they rolled you over together, but I thought he was married to a radiology tech. Robert, I think. Guess there's no harm in 'art appreciation.' Maybe I'll ask Liara...she knows everything. And what she doesn't know, Edi does," he chuckled.

"I wonder how much of our conversations you pick up on. I bet this whole things is like a crazy dream to you. It probably sounds like we are speaking alien to you with all our technical talk during lunch. You'll probably be awarded an honorary medical degree for it when you wake up.

"Maybe you're some big shot space hero or something in that head of yours, and we're your ragtag band of misfits that help you save the galaxy or something," he snickered to himself.

"Wonder what your real name is. It might be weird if it was actually John. Or would that be fate? You look like a John. Do you think you have friends, people looking for you? I hope so. I'd hate for you to be alone when you wake up...but maybe you won't be anymore. We'll be your friends...I will be anyway. Unless you turn out to be a real jerk, that is. So don't be a jerk, okay? Well, I should get going. I'll see you tomorrow. Feel free to wake up while I'm gone."

 

**Day 91**

"One of these days you're going to wake up! I've a had a really bad day and it'd be nice if for once you'd say, 'I'm sorry, Kaidan,' or 'It'll work out, Kaidan,' or 'Get a hold of yourself, Alenko.' Do you have to be so quiet all the time?" he huffed.

"I lost my first patient, John...I was sent to Horizon Hospital to collect a donor heart for that patient I was telling you about, Thane Krios...I didn't get there in time...they gave the heart to someone at Cerberus General...I'm sure they needed it just as bad, but...this was a terrible day....

"Well...thanks for letting me vent at least. I can't believe my best friend is in a coma and I don't even know what his voice sounds like...."

 

**Day 92**

"I'm sorry I was so angry yesterday about what happened at Horizon. I don't know how you perceived that, but I hope you didn't think I was mad at you because I wasn't," Kaidan sighed. "I just wished you'd wake up some time. Other people might think you're just meat and tubes, but I know the real you is still in there somewhere...you're real enough for me anyway...."

"I'd just like you to wake up so I can get to know you. I'd like to think we could be friends after all the time I've spent in here with you, confessing my deepest secrets to a complete stranger...or...I don't know, maybe something more. 

"What am I saying? You could be married for all I know or maybe you have a girlfriend who is worried sick about you...maybe your gay or bi or pansexual like me or maybe you're as straight as an arrow, I don't know. At this point, it doesn't really matter, I just want to get to know you...because I feel like I already do...."

"Hey Kaidan? We're all going to Apollo's for a bite. Wanna join us?" Tali interrupted, popping her slender frame into the door way. 

"Sure, sounds good," he replied as he stood from his chair. Tali had found the best one on the floor and moved it in the room just for him. "Guess I'll see you tomorrow, John. Have a good night," he said with a gentle squeeze of the still man's forearm. 

After three months, Kaidan still hadn't noticed the slight increase in beats of the heart rate monitor at the contact.

"If he wakes up and isn't in love with you, I'll be completely surprised," Tali teased, elbowing him in the side as the two walked down the hall. 

"I'm not sure it works that way," Kaidan chuckled, rubbing his ribs.

"Maybe it does," she winked back.

 

**Day 107**

"It's my birthday today. Did I tell you that already? Probably. I forget what we talk about sometimes. Halloween is coming up soon. Do you want to do a couples costume?" he laughed.

"Something you'd like to confess, Alenko?" James said from the doorway. The muscular nurse strutted over to the other side of the bed so he could reposition John and his pillows.

"Just wondering if he has a sense of humor. I could be a farmer and him a tomato or something," Kaidan embarrassingly admitted. "That's probably wrong to say, huh?"

"Nah, I definitely think Loco has a sense of humor. Otherwise he would've woken up and told me to get out so many times already," Vega answered.

"Loco?" he asked, quirking a brow.

"Yeah, that's what I call him for not wearing a helmet that day, right Loco?....I'm pretty sure he agrees."

 

**Day 120**

"Four months, John. Today is our four month anniversary. Or...rather the anniversary of our first meeting. I had expected you to have been awake by now. I would've even gotten you a cake or something...maybe a big balloon. I saw one in the gift shop that looked like a big jellyfish. 

"You look like you'd be into aquatics. Maybe you're a fisherman or something on vacation. A dolphin trainer, maybe?....Well, you gotta give me a hint at least. Otherwise, it just isn't fair," Kaidan teased. "Man, I hope all your fish aren't dead...."

 

**136** 

"Guys, listen to this! It says that 'the manmade Crucible virus is designed to take control of a targeted cell by infiltrating the nucleus where it uses DNA synthesis to create hybrid cells that are immune to the disease being treated. This both destroys the effected cell when it is finished replicating leading to apoptosis and also creates new cells that are resistant to the disease in question,'" Edi read from her datapad. 

"So they are using viruses to alter DNA to fight disease," Liara said.

"That sounds freakishly like sci-fi," Joker said from the edge of John's bed.

"So the virus is designed to destroy the bad cells and build better ones in its place at the same time?" Kaidan restated.

"Yeah, but isn't that too close to playing god?" Ashley asked.

"A lot more research needs to be done first, but if it helps cure things like cancer, I'd say it's worth a try," Liara replied.

"I'm all for finding new ways to fight disease, but this is Reaper Industries, we're talking about. They might as well be snake oil sale's men with some of the things they 'develop.' The idea might be promising if it was being performed by a reputable source, but I highly question their quality after their 'husk' disaster," Kaidan said before finishing off his ham and cheese sandwich.

"So we're good to hit the club tonight, everyone?" Ashley asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know, guys. I think I'm getting a migraine and clubs aren't exactly the best treatment for those, he replied.

"Come on, Alenko! You're such a buzzkill! When's the last time you went with us to Purgatory?" Ash groaned.

"Are you sure it has nothing to do with your boyfriend here?" Joker teased. "You two don't have a hot date, do you?"

"You know I'm not really into clubs, Ash, and he's a patient, Joker," Kaidan said, rolling his eyes. "A comatose one at that."

"You do spend quite a lot of time with him, Kaidan," Edi added.

"In case you guys haven't noticed, he doesn't have anyone else," he defensively replied.

"And it has nothing to do with the fact that he's kind of like your guapo Sleeping Beauty?" James quipped as he strolled in to join them.

Kaidan felt a flush creeping up his neck but forced it back down. "You guys are insufferable."

"And right," Joker singsonged.

"Why are you even here?"

"My wife invited me," he countered.

"That is inaccurate, Jeff. You invited yourself," Edi corrected.

"I'm going back to work," Kaidan mumbled as he got up to leave. He tossed his trash on his way out and hurried out of the room. Perhaps he shouldn't've left John with those vultures. Who knew what kind of nonsense they would plant in his subconscious, but he didn't want to have to admit that maybe they were right.

 

**Day 150**

Kaidan made a point to stay away from John's room for a few days. Partly to prove to himself that he could—even though his brain was overcome with horrible thoughts of John waking up alone—and partly to prove everyone else wrong.

He had been spending more and more of his free time in John's room as the months went by, and even he had to admit that his fixation on the man might've been skirting the edges of what was considered healthy. That didn't keep him from checking on his status with Dr. Michel everyday, though. Sadly, she kept informing him that John hadn't woken up.

 

**Day 154**

The last thing John remembered was running to the beam. He was sure there was more that happened afterward considering that when he was finally able to get his eyelids to cooperate properly, he was in a sterile white room that smelled strongly of antiseptic. His limbs were heavy and his mouth was dry, but his first thought was finding Kaidan.

His second: _This better not be another Cerberus facility...._

He needed to hear that voice, needed to know Kaidan was safe and that the Reapers had been destroyed. The last time he saw his biotic he remembered kissing him, telling him that he loved him, and putting him safely aboard the Normandy. But that felt like ages ago. Where was he now?

John's arm was stiff when he went to lift it but he needed to push the nurse's button. He had tried calling out, but his voice was so hoarse and rough from lack of use that it was almost inaudible. It must've been a good ten minutes of frustration before he was able to get a thumb on the call button.

A nurse wearing a purple mask covering her face came rushing in the door, her eyes wide in surprise as she stared into his. She said something in a language he didn't recognize before calling out the door for Dr. Michel.

"You're awake!" the nurse—whose voice he recognized to be Tali's—said, her hands finding his as she gave a reassuring squeeze.

"K-kaidan," was all he could manage in a low whispered.

"I...I'll page him," she said, letting go when Dr. Michel burst through the door at full speed. 

"Welcome back," the doctor smiled kindly at him.

"Where's Kaidan?" John was able to whisper.

"Tali will find him," she replied, looking over at the young nurse. Tali nodded and ran out of the room.

"Hey, Loco! You're awake," James said, peaking his head in as Dr. Michel began to examine him. 

"Can you tell me your name?" Dr. Michel asked.

"John," he simply said.

"I hope you aren't just saying that because that's what we called you while you were under. Just to be safe, I'm going to need you to tell me your full name."

"Commander John Shepard...Alliance Navy...service number...5-9-2-3-Alpha-Charlie-2-8-2-6," he rasped.

The doctor typed something into her datapad, "I'm just going to send this to the detective that is assigned to your case...It's very impressive that you remember. Is your throat sore?" she asked.

"Yes."

"We'll try to stick to yes and no questions until your vocal muscles are strengthened. I'll get you some ice chips for the dryness. Feel free to nod or shake your head when possible. Do you understand?"

He nodded but also spoke, "Yes...but Reapers?" he asked.

Dr. Michel perplexingly furrowed her brow. "I'm sorry?"

"Did it work? The war...is it over?"

"I think you might be a little confused, John. It's perfectly normal considering you've been in a long-term unconscious state. Everything will hopefully come back to you in time," she smiled, but her eyes betrayed her concern.

"Did I...destroy the Reapers?" he asked, his voice a little strained with frustration.

"You've been in a coma for five months. I think you might be having difficulty separating reality from possible dreams that you may have had while you were asleep."

"Kaidan? My boyfriend?" he said, his voice almost cracking on the last syllable. 

"Oh my, you are confused. Dr. Alenko was one of your doctors when you first arrived here at Citadel Memorial. I'm sorry that everything is so confusing to you right now, but your brain must've made up a scenario in your head to compensate for the outside stimuli.

"Along with that, your muscles have atrophied over time. We've been engaging you in as much physical therapy as we could in your comatose state, but you've still lost a bit of muscle mass," Dr. Michel explained. 

She continued to list off his original injuries, but that was the point in which Kaidan entered the room and all he could do was grin wide at him. He was sure his face was going to start hurting any second, if the rest of him was an indication, but he figured it was worth it when he saw Kaidan smiling back at him.

***

Kaidan had thought the worst when Tali paged him with an emergency in room N7. He left his datapad on the table where him and the girls were updating charts and ran as fast as he could to the north wing. He couldn't even be bothered to wait for the elevator, electing instead to take the stairs.

His heart did this weird convulsing thing in his chest—which he probably should get an EKG for as soon as possible—when he looked into those deep waters of blue known as John Doe's eyes. He was hopelessly lost in them and the radiant smile that was plastered to those perfect lips.

It felt like he'd been waiting a lifetime to see them sparkling with life and...was that affection?

"Hi," Kaidan nervously spit out. He swallowed hard as he approached the bed. "I'm, uh, I'm Dr. Alenko. I was—"

"I know who you are...you're my boyfriend, Major," John interrupted. 

And Kaidan was sure he'd never heard anything as beautiful as that in all his life. The words made Kaidan blink in surprise, but the man's voice—even as ragged and hoarse as it was—had him sinking further and further into his soul like it was a river of honey sweeping him right out into that deep blue sea.

"I'm your doctor...we hadn't met until you came into the ER in July," Kaidan replied.

"Is this a joke?" John smirked. "Did Garrus put you up to this? Where is he?"

"Who's Garrus?" Kaidan asked, praying to gods that it wasn't the man's boyfriend. "I think you might be confused," he said looking to Dr. Michel for guidance. "We've never met before. This is the first time we've ever, well, you've ever spoken to me."

"Okay, this isn't funny anymore, K," John frowned, his voice getting harsher and rougher with each syllable he spoke. "I've known you for five years now. We took down Saren together, remember?" he insisted.

Kaidan's heart was breaking for him as those blue eyes began to plead for understanding.

"Saren Arterius?" Ashley asked from the doorway where everyone had gathered around. "That ornery patient Wrex the security guard had to escort out of the hospital a few months back?"

"What? No!" John croaked out, "The rogue Spectre! What about the Reapers? What about Mordin? Legion?"

"Reaper Industries is a medical research company, Mordin retired a month ago to Florida, and Legion is what we called the old CT machine that 'died' last week," Liara softly replied.

"What are you talking about? How can you people not remem—" John stopped mid-word when his voice gave out. He released a low rumbling groan deep in his throat as he squeezed his eyes shut. 

"Someone page psych, Dr.'s Michel and Chakwas stay. Everyone else, out!" Chief Anderson said when he walked in the room.

 _Anderson?_ John mouthed.

***

Kaidan's head was spinning when they were all ushered into the hall. He couldn't get the man's sad eyes out of his head or the way he called him his boyfriend. It was obvious that John was having problems coming to terms with waking up. It was also possible that he was suffering from the effects of the head wound he suffered all those months ago. 

The worst part was knowing that there wasn't much he could do but pace the hallway until they were told to go back to work. But the thought of leaving John—was that even his real name?—alone to deal with everything on his own was too daunting of a thought. He knew this was going to happen. He just knew he was going to fall in love with him.

Now what was he supposed to do about it? The man was a complete stranger to him, and clearly delusional at the moment. What if he was crazy to begin with and escaped from a psychiatric facility? No, they would've come looking for him if that was the case. And who was that Garrus person?

He stopped his pacing to lean up against the wall. He closed his eyes and let his thoughts dissolve into the conversation going on around him. Thinking was the last thing he needed to do right now.

"Hey amigos, his real name _is_ John. What are the odds?" James told them. "Shepard, I think was his surname. I'm googling him now. Said he was some Commander in the Navy or something."

"Already found him," Liara smirked. "Looks like he received a medical discharge a little over a year ago...highly decorated soldier with many commendations...and was injured in a shoot out with rebels somewhere classified." 

"That explains the scars on his shoulder and stomach," Tali said. "I told everyone they were GSW's!"

"You also said he was a member of the mob," Ashley teased. 

"Still could be," Tali huffed.

The elevator dinging brought Kaidan out of his temporary stupor. Dr. Jacqueline Nought stepped out with her trademark scowl neatly in place and her studded leather boots thudding loudly on the tiled floor. Kaidan swore she shot Ashley a wink before barraging through John's door.

Ten minutes later, Dr.'s Chakwas and Michel came scurrying out. "What are you all doing standing about? Get back to work!" Chakwas ordered. Everyone went scattering in every direction before she had even finished her sentence. "Not you, Alenko." 

Kaidan nearly fell over himself as he stopped mid-stride to spin around. He cautiously approached the two women, unsure if he would be getting a lecture or not. "Yes, ma'am?"

"He wants you, so you are going back in there. Let me be clear...you are not his doctor but you are also not his boyfriend, even though that may very well be what he thinks. He needs a friend right now, and until one of his can be located, that duty falls to you because you're the closest thing he has to one. Understand?

"Yes, ma'am," he nodded. He took a few deep breaths and pushed open the door just enough for him to squeeze through. The three occupants turned to regard him, but the only one he noticed was John and his small, hopeful smile. He returned it as he went to take the only open chair. The one over by the window; the one he usually sat in.

"Mr. Shepard is unable to speaking at the moment so he'll be using the chat function to send messages to our datapads," Anderson informed him. 

Almost simultaneously, Kaidan received a message from John on the datapad Ashley had been kind enough to take care of and return to him in the hallway.

_[John]: So...you're not my boyfriend?_

"No, sorry. Just your doctor. Or former doctor, I should say," Kaidan replied out loud.

He looked up at him to wait for John to reply, but John met his eyes instead, and there was so much more to be read on his face than in a crummy message made of pixels. It was a portrait filled with sadness and sorrow and maybe a bit of vulnerability, and Kaidan's heart clenched under the weight of it forcing him to look away.

_[John]: They said it was a dream, but it felt so real, you and me. It felt like I loved you...when I saw you...I knew you._

Kaidan wanted nothing more than to toss his datapad out the window and go to him, kiss him till he saw stars, and crawl in his bed to hold him close and comfort him because it had felt like love to him too. But Dr. Chakwas was right; John wasn't his boyfriend. He didn't even know the man, not really...but why did it feel like he did?

_[John]: I don't remember who I am apparently. So maybe it's better this way. I could be a total jerk or something. Wouldn't want you to be with a total jerk. You're too cute._

Kaidan blushed, but their exchange was short lived when Jack took over the session. He had almost forgot her and Anderson were in the room. John was quickly diagnosed with retrograde amnesia but they were hopeful that his memory would come back to him in time. 

"I think what has happened is that John was very aware of his surrounds when he was unconscious," Jack said. "Your brain provided a dream to accommodate the voices and other noises you heard when you were unconscious. This is a very common occurrence and even happens to me when I fall asleep with the television on sometimes," she explained.

"Come to think of it, it's happened to me as well," Anderson amusingly chuckled.

"Dr. Alenko spent the most time with you, John, so it is perfectly understandable that you latched onto him and made him the most important character in your dream. It's possible that you may even remember things he's told you in the time that you have been here," Jack continued.

 _[John]: Like that your favorite food is the steak sandwich from Apollo's?_

"It is," Kaidan smiled.

_[John]: About Vyrnnus and Rahna?_

"...yeah," he sighed.

_[John]: Jenkins didn't die on Eden Prime?_

"No, he transferred to a program back home _in_ Eden Prime, but he's still alive and well," Anderson explained.

 _[John]: I must seem crazy to you people then._

"No, John. You've suffered major head trauma. We've been waiting for you to wake up to assess the damage, but hopefully your memories will return and you'll be able to remember who you were before," Jack assured him. "This is quite common for patients with head trauma."

"Do you remember your parents' names?" Anderson asked.

_[John]: Hannah Shepard and Steven Hackett, my step-father._

"That's a good sign. Yes, Detective Lawson has been searching for clues to your identity for the past five months. She just sent me a message saying that she has been in contact with your family and that they are on their way from Vancouver as we speak. 

"It seems your family has been looking for you as well, but had been concentrating on the area north of us around Elysium. Normandy Springs is a little out of the way. Do you remember why you were so far off course?" Anderson asked.

John closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling steeply as Kaidan and the others sat patiently waiting for a response from him.

_[John]: No...I have no clue...sight seeing?_

He smirked to Kaidan before typing something else.

_[John]: Getting tired...._

"That's all right. We can talk again later. You did fine for today. I know you just woke up from sleeping for five months, but try and rest," Jack said as she stood from her chair.

"Dr. Alenko will stay with you until your family arrives. If you need anything, let my staff know," Anderson said, standing as well. "Good to have you back, son."

John and Kaidan spent several minutes just staring at each other after the others left. Kaidan wasn't exactly sure what to say and was content to look dreamily into those unbelievably blue eyes. After a while, John began asking him questions about his dream that Kaidan explained away from the Rachni exterminator service that comes in once a month to the 'Collectors' of their medical samples for outside testing.

It was around eleven p.m. before John started to nod off. Kaidan was going to leave but John had woke when he stood from the chair and accidentally bumped into his bed. John asked him to stay, and how could he resist those puppy dog eyes? He couldn't.

 

**Day 155** 

It was around four a.m. when the door opened and the light from the hallway seeped into the room. Kaidan thought it was one of the night nurses coming in to check John's vitals but when the light was turned on, John's family appeared out of the darkness as they huddled around his bed.

A redhead about John's age was the first one to him. She leaned over him, tears in her eyes, and hugged him awake. "Hey, Johnny! It's me, Janie, and Garrus and mom and dad," she replied, pulling back so the other three could have a chance to hug him. 

John's mother was next, her eyes also filled with tears as she reached down to wrap her arms around her son. "Oh sweet boy, I thought we'd lost you," she sobbed.

Kaidan thought it was probably best if he left to give them some privacy. He was sure they'd take good care of him. John would slowly regain his memory, and all the time Kaidan spent with him would be lost to the places dreams go when you wake.

He quietly slinked out of the room and sulked all the way down to the doctor's on-call room where he found an empty bunk to crash in for the rest of the night. It was far too late to go home by that point.

***

Later that morning, Kaidan was grabbing breakfast in the cafeteria when John was wheeled in by whom he assumed was probably Garrus. The man was a little on the tall side and quite lanky, but when he leaned down to whisper in John's ear, they both dissolved into a fit of laughter. 

He paid for his banana, coffee, and bowl of granola and bolted toward the nearest exit. John Doe was gone now, the real John Shepard had his life back, and Kaidan would need to accept that and move on. Arrangements had probably already been made to get him transferred closer to home. He refused to dwell on that thought.

Thankfully, his morning was hectic which left little time for him to think about John or anything else. The girls kept asking him questions about how things went the previous night, but he brushed them off. He even volunteered to work through lunch since the ER was short-staffed that day.

He had just fell asleep in the on-call room when the door swung open causing him to jolt awake. Standing in the threshold was Jack, arms crossed over her chest, head cocked to one side. "He's asking for you," she said.

Kaidan let out a deep sigh and sat up. "Isn't that a bad idea? He...he's not only a patient, but he also has this big elaborate story about us in his head that's not...true...he doesn't need me there confusing him," he replied, bowing his head as he picked at a stain on his scrubs.

"Gimme a break! He hasn't been your patient for five months, Alenko. And Dr. Michel told me he knew you before he heard your voice, so maybe on some otherworldly level, it was real, parts of it, your connection to each other, but you won't know if you avoid him. So get your butt up and go get to know him! It's only fair since he already knows you," Jack pointed out. 

He thought back to the moment their eyes met for the first time when he was standing in the doorway, back to the way John's eyes twinkled at him as he smiled with the kind of smile you could only give to someone you knew, someone you loved. It was too much of a coincidence, because Jack was right, he hadn't spoken to him at that point. 

Hesitantly, he swung his legs off the bed. "What if I don't live up to the version of me he has in his head?" he thought out loud.

"What if he's more boring awake than he was asleep?" Jack smirked back. "Only one way to find out."

He certainly couldn't argue with that.

The two walked to the elevator and headed for John's room. The closer they got, the sweatier his palms became. He was nervous. Him and John had only had a short amount of time to talk the previous night and it was mostly done slowly through messages, but now he was going to be officially meeting his family. Nervous was allowed.

"Hey, Shepard? I brought you a visitor," Jack announced as they both entered the room.

The second his eyes met John's was just as explosive and all consuming as the first time. Kaidan had to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat as he approached the bed.

"This is my dream boyfriend," John teased, winking at him as his family chuckled low in the background.

"Um, hello, I'm Dr. Alenko," he nervously introduced himself.

"No need to be so formal, we've heard all about you, Kaidan. Garrus Vakarian, John's best friend and boyfriend interrogator," Garrus introduced himself.

 _Boyfriend?_ Kaidan couldn't help but think.

"Yes, but I have no idea how much of what I said was even true," John corrected. 

"Hopefully, just the good parts. It's nice to meet you," Kaidan said, shaking the man's hand. He got a handshake from Steven as well, but both Hannah and Jane gave him big hugs as they introduced themselves. Slowly, his nervousness melted away. "You, uh, you're sounding better," Kaidan said, turning back to John.

"Throat still feels sore, but better than last night, still a little scratchy, too," he replied, his eyes flickering over Kaidan's face, studying him. 

Kaidan tried not to feel self-conscious about it, but it was difficult not to with the crowd looking on as well. "So...how's your memory? Has everything came back to you yet?" Kaidan asked curiously. 

"Yes, it hit me this morning in the cafeteria. Garrus was telling me his favorite joke—which is terrible, by the way—"

"Hey, it's not that bad!" Garrus protested.

"And it all came flooding back. Apparently, I was visiting a friend in Elysium and was on my way back to Vancouver when I had the accident. Dr. Michel said I might never remember that part," John explained.

"It's quite common not to," Kaidan said.

"Dr. Nought said that it was probably for the best that I didn't remember that part. She also _suggested_ that I stick around for awhile to do my rehab here, for consistence's sake, since everyone has been so nice. Thought it might be a good idea," John shrugged. "She's very persuasive."

All Kaidan could do was smile and give a small nod, unable to stop his brain from jumping up and down long enough to form a coherent word.

"With someone as stubborn as you, John, I have to be," Jack said. "I should probably be getting back to my other patients, but I'll check in on you later."

"Well, I think I'm going to go find me a nurse to hit on," Garrus announced, clapping Kaidan on the back as he followed Jack out.

"John, I think your mother and I are going to grab a bite to eat at that diner down the street. Apollo's, I think it was," Steven said as he stood. He held out his hand to Hannah and helped her up.

"We'll be sure to bring you back a steak sandwich, Kaidan," Hannah smiled kindly. 

He couldn't help but blush. "You don't need to do that, ma'am," Kaidan insisted.

"Non-sense! It's the least we could do for your dedication to my son's care," Hannah said, giving him another big hug as the two passed by him on their way to the door.

"So what do you think, Janie?" John asked his sister who had been quiet up to that point. "She's my real boyfriend interrogator, but don't tell Garrus, I'd crush him."

"Smart if he's a doctor, likes to help people, patient and loyal if he was willing to sit and stay with you for five months while you laid there literally sleeping like a log," Jane winked to Kaidan. "Super hot!" she continued, circling around him like a predator sizing up prey. 

"Well?" John impatiently asked.

"I approve," she finally said and John's eyes lit up. "Now, what was the name of that hot nurse of yours?"

"James," he replied, shaking his head playfully. 

"Gods, I can't believe I'm about to commit a Vakarian and go hit on a nurse," she mumbled as she pulled the door shut behind her.

"So...," John smirked when they were finally alone. "My name is John. I like long walks on the beach, steak sandwiches, beer, and very hot guys. I am single, but there's this certain doctor I've been holding out for for about five months now, and if he doesn't make a move soon, I might just go into another coma," John said, wiggling his eyebrows.

That was all the invitation Kaidan needed. He closed the distance between them and leaned down over the bed to kiss John heatedly, mindful of the tubes and wires he was still hooked up to, but so far past ready to feel those lips on his that he almost passed out himself when he realized just how right he had been about their kissability. 

 

**Day 730** 

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Garrus asked.

"I've never been more sure of anything in all my life," John replied, fiddling with the thin strip of red silk threatening to strangle him.

"Still can't believe you convinced me to give up my bachelor pad in Vancouver to settle in this small town," the tall man grumbled, he too messing with his own silk strip of death.

"That was all Tali," John reminded him. "You're next, y'know?"

"I don't know about that, John. Jane and James might beat us to it," he smirked.

"Well, I suppose anything is possible if Ash and Jack beat us. Not to mention that I did fall in love with my very-soon-to-be husband while I was unconscious," he said dryly.

"Speaking of, we should probably get going. Don't wanna be late. I think he's waited for you long enough, don't you?" Garrus snickered.

"Yeah, I think so," John smiled fondly to himself. "Alright, let's go get me married to my doctor!"

"And then, we'll drink ourselves into a coma!"

"We should probably skip that last part, Vakarian."

"Fine, have it your way."


End file.
